You think I don't notice, but you're only seeing one side of the story. You are brilliant, but sometimes you try too hard. I wish that you would slow down to see if you liked what wasn't a blur. If you were to walk, it'd be a run and if you were to think you would obsess. It's hard to see outside of yourself, it's tough to realize the reality of what's before you, but yet here you are waiting, waiting for something to chase you, to be pursued instead of pursue yourself. A reactionary life is not worth living, take hold, breath it in and bravely step into the unknown. If I still prayed, this is what I would pray for you.

Constants come in a variety of forms: mathematical, scientific, spiritual, etc - however more often than not I'm drawn to discover the subtle, often passed over drones that are inevitably in all of our lives. Those that regularly get drowned out by the louder noises and more obvious choices. In these common tragedies I hope to realize a greater truth, something that is worth sharing and defending, in some ways, a hope to learn more about what makes us all tick.

If you've ever played hide and seek you'll know that silence can be deafening. That if you've ever paid close enough attention, that even when you think it's quiet, you can hear the quiet hum of a room. A murmur of wood creaking, air sifting through floorboards, dust colliding with each other or even the depths of your chest beating. Even when you hear nothing, there's so much to listen to.

I won't venture to guess what that hum is, it's one of those things that constantly surrounds us, that is inescapable and for me, continually intriguing. This entry is just to remind myself that it's there and that some day the treasure that it keeps will fall into my hand for me to study.

I just got back from a weekend trip from Buenos Aires and I think I'm finally getting caught up on my sleep. We got in on Friday morning and within the first 5 minutes of our conversation with the taxi driver, he identified Jonthan's Spanish as being from Mexico and that I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. We stayed in a neighborhood called Palermo, which is a great area full of bars, restaurants and shops. We got to our hotel, the Malabia House, and I don't think I've had such a great hotel experience as I did there. The service was great and the grounds were very well kept along with the fact that they upgraded our room for free simply because they had it available. I'll definitely stay they again if I go back.

Randomly, we knew of a friend of a friend that was also in BA from the states, Laura was staying with her friend Gabby who lives down there while going to school. Laura met up with us and we spent the whole day sightseeing, we visited the Plaza de Mayo, Casa Rosada, 9 de Julio, Cafe Tortoni and a couple of churches. We capped the afternoon by getting some drinks at Kilkenny's - yes, an Irish bar while in Buenos Aires, but we were told it's a good time and it didn't disappoint. In fact, we might have had too much fun, we needed to come back and take an hour nap before heading to dinner which was okay since we didn't get there until 11pm, average for Argentines. We were sat around midnight and left around 2pm, but not before getting some free champagne and a complimentary bottle of Malbec. Afterward we went to get some drinks at Cronico, at 24-hour bar, yikes.

Saturday started a little slow, but after some breakfast we were feeling better. We met back up with Laura in Recoleta and went to the cemetery to visit Evita's tomb and to see the impressive cemetery and it's maze of famous and beautiful mausoleums. We then visited the Recoleta church next door and made our way through a street fair to find the Museo Nacional de Bella Artes (National Art Museum). There was FREE admission and some great works of art including pieces from Degas, Picasso and Rembrandt, not to mention an artist new to me named Marcel Dzarma. He is apparently a Canadian artist known for his work with watercolors, however his pieces are more like scenes from a bizarre and demented children's book, but it made me laugh, I still smile thinking about the fish pictures. After the museum, we got a cup of tea at La Biela, a coffeeshop famous for being a meeting place for early racecar drivers. The black and white pictures of the famous racers adorn the inside restaurant, however we sat outside so we watch some tango dancers do their thing on the sidewalk. We then walked back to Laura's place where we finally met Gabby and she invited us to an "asado" that evening at her place, which is basically a bbq with a bunch of friends.

We headed back to get ready and couldn't resist stopping somewhere to get an appetizer at a parillo...the food is so good. Ended up getting back to the asado around 10pm, we were still early even though we were a half-hour late. Not surprisingly, we ended up eating around midnight, followed by many hours of dancing to Reggeton. If you don't know Reggeton, you only need to hear one song, then put it on repeat for hours and you'll pretty much experience it. Everyone was awesome though and we were able to see what true locals do on the weekends. The quote of the trip came at 5:10am..yes AM. We were standing there and this guy comes up and looks at us and says "uh, so are you guys ready to go out?". Unflinchingly, we said yes. So, we get to this bar at 5:30am and find out it's open until 9am...awesome. We went in and it was definitely night and we came out and the day had already started...not starting...started.

We got back to the hotel around 8:30am, wisely asked for a late checkout and went back to sleep for four hours. Got up, ate breakfast, and before leaving explained out plan to our concierge. After agreeing to the plan, she paused and looked at us with concerned eyes before saying "Are...you two...alright?". We smiled and confirmed our positive condition, but she wasn't fully convinced because as she explained, she was there 4 hours earlier when it didn't look like we were fine. Well, we still made it to the antique show in San Telmo, came back to Palermo for a final stroll around the area, then came back, got our cab to the airport and passed out on the plane, until we got back to Chicago and immediately went to work.

A bit of a whirlwind, but a great trip overall. I hope to go back, but this time in the summer!

The next couple of months are going to be full of Avett. Two weekends it started in Dallas when they opened for DMB and this weekend it continues with San Francisco, then Portland. It's going to be great seeing friends and visiting new cities.

For your enjoyment, here's one of the new ones:

Figuring out what you're supposed to do and what you want to do can get pretty confusing. For so long in my life I've felt like I'm right on the brink of something, but when you stand at the top of a cliff for so long, you just begin to enjoy the view instead of getting caught up on the anxiety of standing so close to the edge. Does life follow a trend or do you develop cycles for change? After your current cycle ends, do you feel the need to cultivate your life and turn everything up? Or do we find comfort in what we know, knowing that we're building on top of the cycles that have come before the current?

I put a lot of hope into Time, that it heals, that it clarifies and that it gives you a new perspective. The agony is in the waiting. One of my friends suggested to me recently that "you can leave and come back, but you can't stay and go" - so does that mean that you always need to go for the new experience? There's definitely a sense of adventure in that statement, but it doesn't absolve the reality of now. You can leave and come back, but not in this current state, so is your relative present play a bigger role or is just another part of the puzzle?

I'm not sure that I live my life for happiness, I think I've lived it so far mostly for goodness, to do what's right. But "rightness" is relative still, so should this life we all live be so self-centered? I think other people need to be considered otherwise you're a complete narcissist. What's right for me isn't necessarily right for the whole. It creates a disconnect for me, this world is a shared resource and part of what it means to be human is to rub elbows with each other...as annoying as it is. Yet, parents in the US all raise their children to be happy, many Asian cultures raise their children to be successful, I think I want to grow up being balanced...but that sounds so conservative. I'm not sure what the answer is, but it seems like a cycle is ending and something needs to change, it's just a matter of finding out what that is. I guess time will tell.